


I'll follow you

by snarled_musings



Series: Songfic 'verse [1]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 11:52:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/849249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarled_musings/pseuds/snarled_musings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Introspection's a hard thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Slight spoilers for "Number crunch" and "Super"</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll follow you

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic, inspired by "I'll follow you" by Shinedown.

_If I could find assurance to leave you behind_  
I know my better half would fade  
And all my doubt is a staircase for you  
Opened out of this space  
The first step is the one you believe in  
The second one might be profound. 

 

 

Harold looked at himself in the mirror. His face was hollow, eyes haunted. His entire body was aching, head to foot, hip protesting with every step he took. His neck radiated pain close to a migraine level into his head. All he could do was swallow and bear it. There would be no pain medication for him tonight, and no rest. He couldn't afford that luxury, not with so much at stake. He splashed some water on his face in an attempt to clean up before he headed out into the next room. The apartment was one of his many, and he'd lose it the minute they were out of it. Not because Reese knew where it was, but because memories of this night would forever haunt this place. 

 

He stared down at his asset. Reese was breathing steadily, deeply sedated. His tall body was covered by a light sheet, which was already soaked with sweat. Even in repose he was frowning, lines of pain marring his striking features. He was still pale, grayish, a testament to blood loss. He'd have to have plenty of vitamins and minerals, since no money in the world could guarantee a blood transfusion that wouldn't be traced. That was just too big a risk to take. Harold would just have to trust John's strength and the good doctor's skills.

 

Trust. That elusive thing, so hard to come by and so hard to build. He'd hired Reese based on the man's skills and background, as well as an assessment of his personal character. He'd deemed the younger man worthy. He had enough of his personal demons to be tempted by this offer of redemption. This was supposed to be a working relationship, a business agreement. He frowned as he limped over to the linen closet to take out a new sheet.

 

They'd gone wrong somewhere, and he knew it wasn't one-sided. He'd heard Reese's concern, even fear, over the phone at the explosion. He already knew the younger man was interested in him, in his personal life. Something Harold had tried to dissuade him of. But that quirky sense of humor, that sense of obligation, the caring Reese showed for their numbers, had gotten under his skin. He'd slipped up on occasion, leaving small tidbits of personal information. Nothing incriminating, but more than he'd give anyone else. That indicated trust. Somehow he'd come to trust Reese, that he'd have his back. The problem with trust was that once it was there things had a tendency to develop.

 

He closed his eyes for a second, reliving Reese's words earlier in the evening. How his voice, threaded with pain, had asked him to stay away. _Too risky_. How he'd thanked for his second chance. Harold knew good-bye when he heard it, and it made his breath catch in his throat. He'd pressed the car to its limit, racing to pick up his asset. His partner. Reese was more than just an employee. He _got_ Harold, in a way no one else ever had. Not even Nathan. Reese respected him, accepted his quirks without pushing too much. Harold had come to look at Reese's quest for information as a convoluted game of one-upmanship. It kept them both entertained. Reese knew not to push too far, Harold had come to trust that as well, that Reese knew his limits. There was that trust again. In a strange way Reese probably knew him better than anyone in the world ever had.

 

As he gently removed the sweat-soaked sheet from Reese he looked at him. The wounds were covered in gauze, and they hadn't seemed to bled through. He sighed in relief. The doctor had been more than capable. A surge of anger coursed through him at detective Carter. Reese had saved her life, and she'd sold him out. She'd also helped them escape, but that didn't change the fact that she'd been accomplice in nearly getting Reese killed. Once more he remembered the utter helplessness he'd felt as Reese had staggered up to him, covered in blood. Harold was determined to save him. He wouldn't let Reese go.

 

 

_I'll follow you down through the eye of the storm_ __  
_Don't worry I'll keep you warm._ __  
_I'll follow you down while we're passing through space_ __  
_I don't care if we fall from grace_ _  
_ _I'll follow you down_

 

 

As he placed the clean sheet over Reese the younger man's eyes fluttered open. The blue orbs were hazy with pain and a momentary panic. Instinctively Harold placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

”You're safe. We're safe. You'll be okay, John.” Reese's eyes closed for a moment and he swallowed hard.

 

”You shouldn't have come back. Too dangerous.” Harold's hand traced the hard muscle under his hand, subconsciously trying to offer comfort.

 

”I couldn't just leave you. I never will, not if I can save you.” The promise left his lips before he'd had time to think it over. It brought a small smile to Reese's lips as his eyes fluttered shut again. Harold looked at him, but that tiny smile stayed on his face as Reese's breaths grew deeper again. He fumbled behind him, awkwardly pulling up a chair. He didn't remove his hand from Reese's shoulder even once.

 

 

_You can have the money and the world_  
The angels and the pearls  
Even trademark the color blue  
Just like the tower we never built  
In the shadow of all the guilt  
When the other hand was pointed at you  
Yeah the first step is the one you believe in  
The second one might be profound.  
  


Reese got better remarkably fast, and Harold rented him an apartment. It was for the sake of a number, but also for the sake of Reese's comfort. He'd protested the amount of money spent on him. In Harold's world that money amounted to nothing significant. It was a small price to pay to be able to see those blue eyes vibrant with life again. He was willing to give up much more than that to see Reese on his feet again. It was even worth doing a lot of harrowing work himself, just to have Reese's voice in his ear, guiding him. It felt strange with their role reversal, but it made him see how trust was a two-way street. Reese had to trust him infinitely as well, to act on the intel Harold fed him, much like Reese fed it to him at the moment. It made something swell in his chest, an unfamiliar feeling he couldn't really set name to. He headed back to the apartment armed with chinese take-out. Reese was stationed in front of the screens, a bored look on his face.

 

”Look, I'm all better. I'll go crazy if I have to stay inside this apartment much longer.” He looked at Finch almost beseechingly. He didn't think as he placed a hand on Reese's shoulder. The younger man twisted around to look at him.

 

”You're still not in shape to move around, and I will not risk agent Snow getting his hands on you. It'll be at least another week before you can get out of the wheelchair and have some mobility back.” Reese sighed and shifted. It must have pulled at the stitches on his stomach and he grimaced slightly, proving Harold's point.

 

“I don't like you doing this alone. If something happens to you I won't be able to get there fast enough.”

 

“Is that your main concern?” Reese colored slightly, then he conceded with a small nod. Harold picked up one of the containers and sat down next to Reese. “I won't do anything stupid.”

 

“You've almost gotten caught already.”

 

“But you saved me. See, you're still useful, even if it is from a distance.” Reese's brows pulled together in a frown.

 

“How can you take this so lightly?” He didn't take it lightly, not one bit. But ever so slowly he'd become sure that he could trust Reese. That he could count on him to have his back. It wasn't easy to give that trust and he thought of Reese. The man had given him so much when it came to trust. His words after getting shot still echoed in Harold's mind. To lay himself bare like that, to show feelings like that, took real trust. 

 

“I don't take it lightly, not one bit. But I trust you, Mr. Reese.” The frown cleared as the eyebrows rose in surprise. The admission had clearly taken him by surprise. Harold fought the urge to squirm. He hadn't been that candid in a long time. “I trust your experience will help keep me safe and sound.” 

 

Reese's eyes closed as a flash of emotion crossed his face. Harold couldn't decipher it. “Is that why you came back for me? You needed my experience in this- our continued endeavor?” All he had to do was say yes. He didn't need to give any other explanation. Reese knew how important their joint cause was to him. But he'd promised to never lie to his friend, and he wanted to keep that promise.

 

 

_I'll follow you down, through the eye of the storm_ __  
_Don't worry I'll keep you warm._ __  
_I'll follow you down, while we're passing through space_ __  
_I don't care if we fall from grace_ __  
_I'll follow you down to where forever lies_ __  
_Without a doubt I'm on your side_ __  
_There's nowhere else that I would rather be_ __  
_I'm not about to compromise, give you up to say goodbye_ __  
_I'll guide you through the deep I'll keep you close to me!_   


 

“I came back because I had to. How could I leave you behind without knowing I'd done my utmost to save you?”

 

“There have to be another candidate to take over. We know I'm not invincible.” There was pain in Reese's voice, and Harold found it mirrored in his own chest. The thought of doing this, saving people, without Reese made him swallow hard around the lump forming in his throat. There it was again, that trust. He wanted to entrust Reese with the full truth, a truth he could barely admit to himself. 

 

“The thought of doing this with anyone else...” His voice trailed off, he had to clear his throat. His voice was choking on the mass of emotions roiling in him. “I don't want to think it. I was so sure I'd lost you that night. I don't think I've ever been more afraid. It's not just about the job, John. It's about _you._ If I lost you- If you were taken from me, I think something in me would die. I shouldn't lay this on you right now, you have enough to cope with, but I've promised you the truth.” John's mouth was an 'O' of surprise, eyes wide with something akin to wonder. “Since we've started this endeavor you've taught me so much. About friendship, loyalty... about trust. And so much more. How can I repay you with anything less than that? And if you were to be taken from me, I think I might lose all the better parts of me.” Suddenly he realized what he was saying, how he was laying himself bare.

 

“Are you saying you need me?” Harold removed his glasses, put them back on. He felt awkward, clumsy. He also wondered if this was something Reese needed to hear. It put no small pressure on him. He hastily back-pedaled.

 

“Of course I need you. But you know, I understand if you'd want to get out. You know I'd provide for you, set you up with everything you need to be comfortable. I'd never force you to do this if you want to quit.”

 

“So you need me for the job?” Reese looked at him and there was something forlorn in his expression. Like he wasn't sure that was what he wanted to hear. It hurt to see that expression, to see him doubt his own importance. Harold wanted to set things straight, no matter if it cost him his dignity. The depth of his emotions scared him, made him feel slightly shaky.

 

“I need you for everything. I need your help, your support. That you constantly try to spy on me has become a comfort. I know you're always close by, and it's something I can't imagine being without. I trust you to respect my boundaries, something I've never trusted anyone with before. When I don't have your voice in my ear I tend to feel a little lost. It's like a part of me is missing. And I can't help but worry that you might be in trouble. I do that a lot, worry about you. I wish I could take some of the pain you have to put up with, both physical and emotional. I want to keep you safe.” 

 

 

_I'll follow you down through the eye of the storm_ __  
_Don't worry I'll keep you warm._ __  
_I'll follow you down while we're passing through space_ __  
_I don't care if we fall from grace_ _  
_ _I'll follow you down_

 

 

Reese's eyes grew wider with every word he spoke, his face a mixture of hope and disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again. Harold knew he had to finish getting this off his chest.

 

“If letting you go is what it takes to keep you safe, then I will do so without hesitation. Even if it would hurt me your well-being is so much more important to me.” He had to ask the question, even if it would hurt. “Is that what you want, Mr. Reese? To be let go; to be set free?” Reese reached out and tentatively placed a hand on Harold's arm. He could feel the warmth of that hand through the cloth of his shirt and he gave a gentle exhalation. The hand was removed, but only so Reese could shift his chair closer to him. Then that hand was back again, and he couldn't stop himself from leaning into that touch.

 

“You've set me free already. You've given me everything I could dream of, so much more than I could hope for. I can't see how I could ever leave you. There could be no one else in the world like you, and I'm privileged to be the one working with you. It's just- “ The voice trailed off, and Harold turned to look at Reese. The younger man was clearly having an internal struggle with himself. Without thinking he placed his hand over Reese's, gently clasped it. Reese looked startled as he looked down on their hands, then his expression grew determined as he threaded his fingers through Harold's. His grip tightened slightly and Harold's heart gave a lurch.

 

“What is it?” His voice was gentle, laced with a thread of insecurity.

 

“I want more.” Reese raised their hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. “I want more than your friendship.” He raised his head in defiance, looking at Harold challengingly. Harold knew him well enough to know it was a cover for his insecurity. He knew how much it must have cost John to admit that. He closed his eyes, a small smile tugging at his lips as he brushed a cheek against Reese's knuckles.

 

“You can have anything you want.”

 

“Even if what I want is you?” The insecurity was back. He could hear John hold his breath.

 

“There's nothing I wouldn't give to you. Nothing.” The smile John gave him took his breath away.

 

 

_If I could find assurance to leave you behind_  
I know my better half would fade  
I'll follow you down. 

 

 

 

 


End file.
